by Matteo (1) and Luca (4).
1. How many times will mummy pick it up?
This is when you are sitting in your high chair and mummy puts objects on your tray. She will try and fool you into thinking that you are supposed to keep them on the tray….DO NOT FALL FOR IT! Throw everything on the floor and see how quickly you can do it – mummy may look like she isn’t enjoying herself, with all the huffing and puffing and funny faces she makes, but this is just to try and put you off so that she can win the game. Once you have mastered this stage see if you can get on to level 2 of the game when mummy will get objects that stick to the tray and you have to pull those off too.
2. I’m not listening…unless you are unwrapping a biscuit.
You can ignore most of what mummy says and generally not listen….until you hear the ‘unwrapping’ sound as this means cake, chocolate or biscuits. When you hear this sound you have to jump to attention, locate mummy immediately and tell her that you are hungry. Often she will take some time to turn around and answer you – her face may look more bloated than usual and she might talk funny for a while – but you will eventually understand her and she will get you a biscuit as a reward for this so stick with it.
3. Can I eat it?
With this game you take something that is definitely not food, such as lego or building blocks or even stones or snails, and you see if you can get the whole thing into your mouth in one go. Mummy then has to try and get it out but you keep your mouth shut really tight so that it is very difficult for her to get it. The longer you keep it in your mouth, the more likely she will take out a snack like mini cheddars or Pom-Bears from her magic bag….this is your prize for keeping the object in so long so don’t give in too quickly.
4. How many questions can you ask mummy when she is on the phone?
When mummy’s phone rings, it isn’t anyone calling her as she will make you believe, but the start of another great game. She will keep talking to a pretend person and you have to try and make her get off the phone so ask as many questions as you can and, if questions don’t work, start playing with switches and remote controls.
5. How long will it take for mummy to open the bathroom door?
I love this one because it starts like a chase. Every morning mummy will run to that special room where you splash water everywhere and shut the door. As soon as she shuts it you have to bang on it as much as possible to see how quickly you can get her to come out again. It’s a bit like peekaboo. Do anything to get her out of there….shouting, shrieking, whatever it takes. You know you have hit the jackpot when she takes you in there with her.
6. Do you need the toilet?
The objective here is simple….say no to this question as many times as you possibly can until you can’t hold it any longer and are as far away from a toilet as possible.
7. Quiet as a mouse.
Here you have to play normally and noisily when mummy is in the room but the moment she steps out you go very quiet to see how quickly you can get her to come back again.
8. Be really loud when mummy says be quiet.
Shriek very loudly when everyone around you is quiet. You will know exactly when to do this as mummy will start making ‘sssh’ sounds and this is your cue to bellow as loudly as possible. High-pierced screams or farting sounds (or even better actual farts) are particularly good here as the prize for these, again, (in our case anyway) is often mini cheddars or Pom-Bears.
9. Don’t look at the camera.
Sometimes mummy will ask you to look at her phone and say she wants to ‘take a nice picture’. Don’t believe her. This game is the opposite of musical statues so instead of staying really still you have to move like crazy and look away from the phone as much as possible.
And mummy’s all-time favourite…..
10. But it’s not night-time yet.
Mummy will pretend that it is night-time and try and get you into bed but this is not true because mummy and daddy don’t go to bed then. They go downstairs and get funny drinks out of the fridge. There are a variety of tactics you can use in this game to stop mummy (or daddy!) putting you to bed too early, like:
- saying you are thirsty and need a drink (please note this only works a short while as mummy gets wise to it and starts bringing you a drink to keep in your room overnight)
- saying you are hungry
- saying you are not tired
- saying you want another story
- saying you want a cuddle
- and the pièce de résistance….saying you want to get in bed with mummy and daddy!
(All images from Pinterest)